Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
