I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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