He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
