Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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