I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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