I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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