Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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