he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
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I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.