shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
