oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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