Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(

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(949): After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =( http://tfl.nu/pv1c

Replies (43) Good night (700) Bad night (5412)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Do vagina's smell?

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(847): Do vagina's smell? http://tfl.nu/tts8

Replies (52) Good night (629) Bad night (5804)
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(256): View more from Alabama

I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.

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(256): I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting. http://tfl.nu/bt6j

Replies (21) Good night (4094) Bad night (759)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.

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(703): I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU. http://tfl.nu/df85

Replies (21) Good night (5139) Bad night (1285)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.

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(608): They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes. http://tfl.nu/mn0w

Replies (9) Good night (3602) Bad night (919)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick

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(501): Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick http://tfl.nu/wixt

Replies (27) Good night (4565) Bad night (1064)
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(415): View more from California

Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.

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(415): Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself. http://tfl.nu/x6rs

Replies (18) Good night (5515) Bad night (1019)
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(678): View more from Georgia

You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"

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(678): You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed" http://tfl.nu/kcte

Replies (7) Good night (2306) Bad night (613)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.

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(843): The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own. http://tfl.nu/b2cm

Replies (1) Good night (3009) Bad night (567)
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(817): View more from Texas

I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.

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(817): I should not be in class today. For the professors sake. http://tfl.nu/6eqj

Replies (16) Good night (1836) Bad night (713)
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(503): View more from Oregon

She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?

(503): View more from Oregon

Employee of the year! :)

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(503): She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning? (503): Employee of the year! :) http://tfl.nu/boh1

Replies (5) Good night (1994) Bad night (653)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.

(703): View more from Virginia

I want to have sex with him.

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(703): I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress. (703): I want to have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/1wj3

Replies (5) Good night (1393) Bad night (601)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.

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(843): He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals. http://tfl.nu/0dw2

Replies (8) Good night (1576) Bad night (812)
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(216): View more from Ohio

Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.

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(216): Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months. http://tfl.nu/6lkb

Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (323)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I almost tased myself

(1-563): View more from Iowa

I dont think you should own that device.

(563): View more from Iowa

It's an awesome device. I love this device.

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(563): I almost tased myself (1-563): I dont think you should own that device. (563): It's an awesome device. I love this device. http://tfl.nu/0r8c

Replies (1) Good night (619) Bad night (315)

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