Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell. http://tfl.nu/6q5z
  Replies (6) Good night (638) Bad night (1903)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy... http://tfl.nu/0srz
  Replies (14) Good night (773) Bad night (2583)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Thursdays are my worst days

  (1-416): View more from Ontario

  but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): Thursdays are my worst days (1-416): but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay? http://tfl.nu/vmle
  Replies (49) Good night (4826) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  tasteful.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked (1-812): tasteful. http://tfl.nu/syjz
  Replies (17) Good night (4462) Bad night (1398)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag http://tfl.nu/xidr
  Replies (4) Good night (2327) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets http://tfl.nu/m4mv
  Replies (7) Good night (2200) Bad night (883)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door. http://tfl.nu/79gl
  Replies (17) Good night (2797) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple. http://tfl.nu/c07n
  Replies (12) Good night (2155) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude. http://tfl.nu/4zcp
  Replies (22) Good night (947) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress. http://tfl.nu/w1xg
  Replies (5) Good night (1157) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Hahah what did you even say to him?!

  (805): View more from California

  That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?

  (818): View more from California

  Oh.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Hahah what did you even say to him?! (805): That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower? (818): Oh. http://tfl.nu/lvu0
  Replies (3) Good night (990) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher? http://tfl.nu/1efu
  Replies (3) Good night (503) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina http://tfl.nu/eog8
  Replies (14) Good night (1575) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic. http://tfl.nu/l4d9
  Replies (2) Good night (321) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  ... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): ... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday. http://tfl.nu/pw31
  Replies (0) Good night (275) Bad night (561)

Randomize