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• (913): View more from Kansas

  ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?

  Fav 44 1092 6989

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...

  Fav 48 1532 6506

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.

  Fav 17 7670 1475

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina

  Fav 24 2782 5748

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• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.

  Fav 5 2599 1100

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?

  Fav 4 1575 795

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car

  Fav 6 1136 2447

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked

  Fav 4 1136 954

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging

  Fav 27 1120 2919

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.

  Fav 1 1325 559

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• (352): View more from Florida

  As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back

  Fav 6 1723 902

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• (714): View more from California

  There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.

  Fav 5 988 676

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• (207): View more from Maine

  If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores

  Fav 1 765 378

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.

  Fav 1 111 9

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