How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
