Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  but fathers day is next sunday

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet

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  (781): i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day (617): but fathers day is next sunday (781): i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet http://tfl.nu/pxvx
  Replies (14) Good night (848) Bad night (4285)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...

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  (518): Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table... http://tfl.nu/njar
  Replies (9) Good night (3410) Bad night (576)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...

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  (540): so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it... http://tfl.nu/rkx1
  Replies (66) Good night (1388) Bad night (7139)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?

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  (603): he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float? http://tfl.nu/0v16
  Replies (21) Good night (913) Bad night (5185)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.

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  (724): my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out. http://tfl.nu/0szs
  Replies (18) Good night (5010) Bad night (920)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner

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  (905): It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner http://tfl.nu/bz5d
  Replies (11) Good night (4946) Bad night (1784)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best

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  (919): we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best http://tfl.nu/79hx
  Replies (19) Good night (1720) Bad night (4566)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.

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  (228): Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street. http://tfl.nu/7nan
  Replies (4) Good night (2550) Bad night (884)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.

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  (571): we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music. http://tfl.nu/kygq
  Replies (8) Good night (2659) Bad night (928)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.

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  (517): And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single. http://tfl.nu/lqam
  Replies (7) Good night (1263) Bad night (3272)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I think mounting someone proves who's house this is

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  (602): I think mounting someone proves who's house this is http://tfl.nu/3n41
  Replies (5) Good night (1591) Bad night (715)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking

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  (360): thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking http://tfl.nu/sj60
  Replies (8) Good night (3376) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker

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  (612): Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker http://tfl.nu/kwb8
  Replies (4) Good night (498) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.

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  (240): okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party. http://tfl.nu/08ru
  Replies (5) Good night (1225) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Stalker pic that shit

  (1-509): View more from Washington

  He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'

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  (509): Stalker pic that shit (1-509): He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you' http://tfl.nu/clxy
  Replies (2) Good night (336) Bad night (506)

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