If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
