Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
