Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
