Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
