i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
