I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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