I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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