Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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