she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
