first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
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four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
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i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize