Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
