oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
