it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize