I have demons in me.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize