I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
