Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
