Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
