Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
