Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
