Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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