Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm getting married
To pizza
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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