Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
