I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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