I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
