Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
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You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
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David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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