I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Randomize
