well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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