Say something about gay babies.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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