You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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