The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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