Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
