hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
