oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Will exercising make me less horny?
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