Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
