Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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