I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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