I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
