She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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