i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
