he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
