Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize