we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
