Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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