i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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