But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
