I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
