Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
